We were different. Really , ı mean ı truly apologize that ı couldnt understand this for that moment.
A lot of things was my fault not yours. I'm only one person responsible and mistaken to cant understand to people. My single fault is to believe that people think like me,to behave like this and to think that people like it .Who knows this is maybe my personality disturbance. And who knows, this separation is going to be useful to change that.
I have treated you this way.I used to love to call,send sms or mail ,open the webcam so often . And u used to love it. I wouldnt get bored. And ı would think u wont get bored and overwhelmed. For these reasons,ı’ve continued to do this. But ı was wrong. Because nobody was like me. This was definitely my fault.I apologize.
I believed in something.And nothing would let me give up what ı believed. And u believed too. But then you lost your belief it. Again, I was wrong.Because no one has to be like me. I apologize.
Therefore ı would say words ı believed. And ı would do . And u believed and talked by believing too. But u lost ur belief again.I was wrong.It was my fault. I apologize.
He would be so important when someone is in my life. But that time ıt was stronger feelings before and ı had put u the central of my life. And u had too . ı know. I was just interested in of u . And in that time , ı was meeting my friends and talking with my family. But u felt away urself from ur family,ur friends and ur social life.But u couldnt provide this balance. I couldnt realize this. I apologize.
I never have concealed things when ım in love. I show everything. I mean ım open everytime. This is a very very small things for me to provide the trust ıf ı love and want him. If ı would have something to hide, ı wouldnt start the relationship.Thats why ı wanted to know the people on ur facebook . (Actually u had shown ıt before ı dont ask first times
I couldnt think u ll be uncomfortable cause of this later . I couldnt understand this at that time. I apologize.
And when ım in love from the heart, my eyes wouldnt see anyone or ı even thought . There wouldnt any “hello” from the past or present. Everything would be the end for me ıf ım in love. U were same too. U were in love with me . But something was different between us. It was ur way . I couldnt see this differences .I went to the very top. I was wrong. I apologize.
I used to love too much when ım in love.I would love that person’s every move.I would say tousands of times “Dont behave like this, ı love u” .ı wouldnt feel overwhelmed. U loved me too, ı know. And u said hundreds of times “ Dont behave like this,ı love u” But u were not patient enough to say this tousands of times.It was normal , u were not like me. Now ı can understand this. I apologize.
I m also very fragile. And sometimes ı would feel so sick too. But at that times my heart would talk to me so loudly ,and then ı would remember only the great moments. ı would forget the bad moments. I never could think “ I have very bad moments ı never ever had “ ıf ı had happy times with him. But u said. I cant blame u . U felt really this and u said this by feeling. I was broken too much at that moment. But now ı understand. I apologize.
Having a break time in a relationship means was breaking up in our culture. If ı would want to break up, ı wouldnt try to find exuses to do it and ı would say it directly. I wouldnt expect that he ll be able to understand and handle this easly ıf he is in love. I would know he ll call and do somtehing to take me back and ıt ll take time him to understand. I would be patient all the calls and avoid to talk breaker. But u were different.It was diffucult to understand this at that time. But now ı understand. I apologize to couldnt understand that u already had broken up with me in the first week and ı apologize to come there.
I wouldnt have asked anything to anyone , ıf ım really in love.I would have a decision and noone could return me from my decision.But u were different than me. U needed to ask someone. I understand. And ı cant judge u for this.I apologize to obliged u for feeling to need someone.
I was stubborn.I would do things ıf ı really want this by saying to myself “ ıt should be in that way” .So ıt would be too late when ı realized ıts wrong. But ı was stubborn . And this time I had the stubbornness to avoid them.But ıt was too late and u didnt have any patience. Normal. I apologize for being late to change something.
Perhabs u hated my coming there unaware . Even to see me in the pain and tears can be ruined everything more. Im angry myself cause of this.There was a last step that ı could do and ı had done. I had came there by believing ur feelings .Because ı was remembering what did u say when ı came there first time “ nobody had came for me , thank u “ But ı was wrong. I apologize to came there unaware.
When ı ran to catch up to ur work-out, and when everytime ı go to the airport , ı never felt the wight of the my bag. It didnt hurt. It first began to hurt when ı was at the münih airport.Then this pain began to flow to my heart,my brain and my soul . It was such a big heaviness that ı never had before. It was like the wight of all the world.oh god, ı was dying. I couldnt give the decision should ı have been regret to came there or should ı have proud of myself.But ı couldnt proud of myself.When ı saw that u had left the money in the cigarettes box , ı felt more meek . But ı had came there for the love and wanted to spend labor. But the value was 300chf .I never had hesitated when ı spent money for this flight , but on my opinion , u wanted to relieve the conscience of u . I understand . I also apologize to u had to host me for 3 days.
I apologize ıf ı made u overwhelm against ur parents and friends . Knowingly or unknowingly, ıf ı offended u by my words or behoviors somewhere and sometimes.
I apologize for the differences of language, race and cultural diversity.At least there was no color difference. 
By the way ı apologize to smoke in ur home. (In the meantime, ı dont light any cigarettes of someone any more  )
Its seven days since ı came here. And ı have been dreaming of u for 6 days. And every morning ı was waking up by remembering u and what we had in zürih last time. And ım sorry to say this but ı was saying “ I hate u to didnt think everything from the begining , to gave me this pain, to didnt be strong,to didnt be believer , to lost ur love quick,to lost ur belief after u make me believe this “ But this sentences was finishing at the end with this words “ my love” everytime.
But last night , ı havent dream of u . and didnt wake up with u . There still things hurt,of course. Im angry and multi broken. . Above, I really tried to apologize.But there re somethings ıts ımpossible to forget and not feel broken. I know ı still need to time. Feeling that ı could handle this on 2nd week is giving me strength when ı guess this tears and pain ll continue for months.I mean ı want u to know ı accepted this breaking up now. If somethings ( to love u so much,to want u so much and to be very stable ) didnt take the love back, there was nothing to do. And waiting u is meaningless.
I guess u already forgot ,because u were leaving. Maybe someone has already intered into ur life and u had started to live happy times. Actually ,something also changed in my life and ım excited for this.
I hope u have a good life.
Thanks for everything.
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